School's in for summer

A wise man once said, "School's out for summer." While I don't normally like to cast suspicions upon the proclamations of grown men sporting mascara and girl's names, tomorrow is the first day of summer, and, for those of us taking classes in the summer session, classes began today. Summer session has many advantages. You don't have to deal with all of that pesky free time that all of the other students have to endure. Going to the lake? That's for the birds. Sleeping in? We should all be so lucky as to wake up at 7 a.m. every weekday morning all summer to sit in class and learn about sentence structure. Summer school is great. Who wants to be outside in all of that good weather? Not this guy. Give me a textbook, a desk, and a monotone professor any day. Unfortunately, I can't spend the whole summer in school. The National Guard has put the kibosh on my dreams of attending the whole summer session, limiting my blissful summer learning to the first half. So I'll spend the next four weeks doing homework while all you suckers are on vacation.